(“The Problem With Prayer”)^**

(Psalm 54:2)

“Lord, till I reach yon blissful shore,

No privilege so dear shall be

As thus my inmost soul to pour

In prayer to thee.”¹

Charlotte Elliot, 1789-1871

(A) THE PREFACE

(1) In the preface to his book, “Pray With Your Eyes Open”, PCA pastor and seminary professor¹² Richard Pratt writes: “prayer (is) one of our greatest blessings and one of our biggest struggles. Everywhere I go,” he says, “believers share the same burden. We know instinctively that prayer is essential to the Christian life … but we constantly face the inadequacies of our (own) prayer lives. How can we improve our prayers? What can we do to make communication with God more central and/or more fulfilling? This book,” he says, “searches for answers to those questions.”¹³

(2) Pratt goes on to explain that the central theme of his book is that “we must learn to pray with our eyes open. I do not mean our physical eyes,” he writes, “but the eyes of our hearts. (In other words), we need to examine what we are thinking, doing, and feeling as we pray. All too often we approach communication with God with little reflection. Old habits take over and we are left to the mercy of patterns that have never been examined.”¹³

(3) He then gives us a brief outline of his book, saying that “after (laying out) the foundational perspectives (in) chapter one” (which we will be going over tonight), chapters two through five “investigate how to focus more carefully ON GOD in prayer” – then, chapters six through nine “(search) for ways in which we may look more effectively AT OURSELVES as we talk with God” – and finally, chapters ten through thirteen “(look) directly at how we may improve OUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS in prayer.” A fourteenth chapter, he says, “offers some closing suggestions on putting the content of the book into action.”¹³

I’ve mentioned these things here at the beginning so you can have some idea of what to expect between now and approximately the end of April. So, with those things in mind, let’s get started!

(B) INTRODUCTION

(1) He’d done it again! For the third time in the last five minutes he’d wandered off the track – this time he was so far off he couldn’t even remember where he’d been. Pulling himself upright and adjusting the bed sheets around him, he thought of how ridiculous, how inexcusable, it was for him to still be having this problem. Praying had never come easy – and it wasn’t coming easy tonight. “It’s hard to believe,” he said to himself, “that I’ve been a Christian for ten years, and yet I still have to force myself to pray.”¹

Many of us have experienced similar frustrations when it comes to prayer. No group is exempt – be they new believers, mature Christians, pastors, or famous evangelists. Many religious leaders and/or celebrities would be embarrassed if people knew how much they struggled with prayer – and so would many of us. We know prayer is a blessing from God – we Reformed Christians know its one means of grace – but we also know it can (and often does!) become a source of frustration and guilt. Stories about dramatic answers to prayer make our hearts yearn for dramatic answers to our prayers. However, it often seems like such answers are limited to a few select individuals or groups.¹ As I said a couple of weeks ago, when it comes to prayer, most Christians agree on two things – first, prayer is important – and second, few of us do it well.

These and other harsh realities raise several questions – Can Christians hope to experience the blessings of prayer more fully? – Can OUR prayers ever become more like what God wants them to be?² – Why do we have so many problems with prayer? – Why is it so hard for us to enjoy the richness and/or riches of prayer?²

(2) Because we believe God’s Word is our infallible guide in all matters of faith and life, we look to the Bible for answers to our prayer problems. And when we do, our thoughts often turn to places like the Lord’s Prayer – but the Bible has much more to teach us about prayer than what we find there.²

The Psalms, for example, contain more prayers than any other portion of Scripture. Indeed, they comprise a collection of inspired prayers God’s people sang or recited in all kinds of situations – during worship, while they were traveling, and/or while they were going about the daily activities of life at home. Furthermore, they reflect a wide range of human emotion – from exuberant joy to frantic despair.²

Sadly, though, Christians often overlook what the Psalms and other less familiar passages of Scripture have to say about prayer. We will not. Over the next three months, we will be taking a closer look at some of these often neglected portions of Scripture, where many fresh insights into prayer are waiting to be found.²

(3) Before going any further, however, we need to define what we are talking about – especially since the word “prayer” is used to refer to many things. A child’s poem of thanks before dinner, passing thoughts directed toward God while at work, deeply felt laments, and joyous praises are all commonly identified as prayer. Occasionally, the meaning is stretched to include other activities – like a painting, a musical recital, or a liturgical dance. Many will agree, however, that these last examples are unusual (if not actually erroneous) uses of the word.²

From a biblical perspective, prayer may be defined as a believer’s communication with God. You will note this definition has three elements: (a) God, (b) the believer, and (c) communication. If any of these components is left out, prayer cannot occur. A church building or some other quiet place may not be accessible – we may not have a great deal of time – our friends or prayer partners may not be around to pray with us. Fortunately, none of these things are essential to prayer regardless of how good or helpful they may be. Take away God, or the believer, or the communication, however, and prayer becomes impossible. Without God no one listens – without the believer no one speaks – and without communication nothing is said (see figure 1.1).³

These three elements are essential, then, for fruitful and fulfilling communication with God. Ignore any one of them and our prayers will be paralyzed. Pay attention to them and we will be moving toward a more vibrant, enjoyable, and even effective prayer life.³

Let’s take a brief look, then, at each of these basic elements of prayer – beginning with the recipient of prayer.

(C) THE RECIPIENT OF PRAYER³

(1) According to Pratt’s definition, the first element of prayer is God. People sometimes wonder exactly what role God plays in prayer. Scripture indicates He has many roles. For example, as the Lord and giver of life, He sustains us – thereby making it possible for us to pray. He also forgives our sins – thereby making it possible for us to approach Him in prayer. Perhaps His most significant role, however, is that He receives (i.e. listens to and/or hears) our prayers. Hence, David wrote:

(Psalm 54:2, NIV)³

(2) You and I should never take God’s promise to hear our prayers for granted. On the contrary, we should frequently express our appreciate for this gracious and remarkable gift. When we find it hard to take the time to talk with little children, or with people who have little to offer us (like the homeless who hang out around Wal-Mart), we should marvel that the transcendent Creator of the universe stoops to hear frail and finite creatures like you and me! The wonderful thing about prayer is, when we Christians talk to God He actually listens.⁴

(3) The realization our Creator listens when we pray should make us stop and think about how we talk to Him. Early in life, human beings learn to adjust their conversation to suit their listeners and/or their situation. For example, Pratt writes that “soon after my family moved from Virginia to New England, my five-year-old daughter began speaking English in two distinct ways. With her mother and me, she spoke with the slight southern accent characteristic of our home in Virginia. With her neighborhood friends, however, she talked as if she had lived in the suburbs of Boston all her life.”⁴

Adults make similar adjustments in the way they talk. Husbands and wives converse in ways they would never talk with others. Employees speak to each other differently than they talk to their employer. Our ordinary conversations reflect our attitudes toward the listener – and the same is true in prayer. Our thoughts and attitudes about who God is and/or what He is like largely determine how we speak to Him when we pray.⁴

(4) Have you ever noticed how the prayers of people from other churches (or “spiritual persuasions”) are often different from your own? Believers who think of God primarily as a close personal friend will offer prayers that are very casual and informal. Those who think of Him as sovereign King of the universe, tend to be more formal and reverent. The fact is, we all adjust our communication with God to match our perception of Him.⁴

Many Christians are bored with prayer largely because their view of God is so narrow. By emphasizing one or two of God’s characteristics to the near exclusion of all others, we unwittingly reduce Him to something like a two-dimensional, black-and-white picture. Imagine talking to a black-and-white sketch of a friend.⁴ How monotonous and/or unsatisfying would that be? – both for you and your friend?!

Sadly, prayer can become just as boring for the same reason. Unless we learn to deepen our awareness of God and His many characteristics, our prayers will continue to fall short of their full potential.⁴

(5) The Bible indicates God has many wonderful attributes. For example, He is love, holiness, justice, mercy, beauty, perfection, life, and wrath – to name only a few. All God’s attributes reveal something different about His personality – and, depending on our circumstances, different aspects of His character will mean more to us than others. Yet, at no time should we become satisfied with a one-sided conception of God – be it His love, or His sovereignty. For our prayers to be filled with life and vitality, we must strive to deepen our awareness of God by becoming familiar with His many different attributes as revealed in Scripture, in/through creation, and in/through Jesus Christ (see figure 1.2).⁵

The Psalms illustrate the importance of focusing on the many different sides of God’s character. In their prayers, the psalmists mention various attributes of God. For example, His reliability is the focus of one prayer, where David says: “To you I call, O LORD my Rock;

(Psalm 28:1, NIV).

Another psalm may emphasize His strength – as in:

(Psalm 18:1, NASU).⁵

Like David and the other psalmists, we need to learn to focus on God’s wondrous, various qualities as we pray. If we are hurting, we may look upon God’s love and thereby experience the easing of our pain. If we are reeling from wrongs done to us, we may focus on God’s justice.⁵ If we need forgiveness, we would obviously want to focus on attributes like His mercy, or His faithfulness, or His grace.

(6) Focusing on who God is and/or what He is like is essential to prayer – for as our understanding and appreciation of His character grows, so will the quality and value of our communication with Him.⁶

(D) THE SOURCE OF PRAYER⁶

(1) The second element in Pratt’s definition of prayer is the believer. David wrote:

(Psalm 54:2, NASU).

Prayer always involves a human source. God Himself ultimately gives us the ability to pray, but the human instrument is still the creaturely source of communication.⁶ Dogs and cats, grass and trees, mountains and rivers don’t pray! Prayer emerges from the human mind and heart.⁶

(2) Because prayer finds its source in believers, we need to pay attention to ourselves when we pray. The more aware we are of ourselves, the more sincere our prayers will become. Pratt says: “I once participated in a communication workshop for married couples. And one of the most memorable lessons I learned was how to ‘speak for myself.’ In the group we discovered how frequently we fail to examine our own thoughts and feelings as we talk with our spouses. We concentrate on everything except expressing what’s deep within us. How little we know ourselves, and how poorly we express what we do know!”⁶

Self-understanding and self-expression are basic to all fruitful communication – even communication with God. Therefore, we need to learn how to ‘speak for ourselves’ (as it were) when we pray.⁶

(3) The Psalmists were deeply aware of their own thoughts and feelings when they prayed. Sometimes, for example, they expressed jubilation:

(Psalm 146:1, NASU).

Sometimes they spoke of their strong desires: (David)

(Psalm 38:9-10, NASU).

There were even times when they admitted to being deeply distressed and/or discouraged:

(Psalm 22:1-2, NIV).⁷

These examples illustrate how self-awareness can add a profound dimension to prayer. Hence, it’s important for us to assess what’s going on inside – as in: How do I feel? What am I thinking? What are my attitudes, ideas, and circumstances? (see figure 1.3).⁷

(4) People get involved in their daily conversations to varying degrees. Sometimes superficial responses will suffice – as in: “How are you?” “Just fine, thanks.” We converse in these ways out of politeness, often with little or no concern for sincerity. Other times, however, when we sense the magnitude of the situation, we feel the need to express something deeper.⁷ Who can be satisfied, for example, with clichés when a couple’s new-born baby has Downs Syndrome? Who feels like hiding behind polite superficialities when a broken marriage is healed?

People get to know each other by talking openly about themselves and their feelings. Superficial conversations will suffice for some situations – but more important and/or personal matters require words that come from deep within the heart.⁸

(5) How often do our prayers come from deep within our hearts? The fact is, we Christians are quite good at uttering one trite phrase after another when we pray. We even mimic the prayers of others pray, even when they don’t express our own thoughts or feelings.⁸

Pratt says many Christians would be shocked to hear a prayer expressing an attitude of deep sorrow and/or severe disappointment⁸ – and I think he’s right!. We’ve grown accustom to hearing ourselves and use pious phrases to get us safely through the ritual. Unfortunately, though, that’s often all we’re doing – going through a “ritual”. If we want to establish deep, personal contact with God, we’re going to have to forsake our superficial prayers. Like David and the psalmists, we’re going to have to learn to examine and express ourselves as honestly and completely as possible.⁸

(E) THE WORDS OF COMMUNICATION⁸ (1) And that brings us to the third essential element of prayer, which is communication. This means, among other things, that we Christians must become conscious of our words when we pray. David made this clear when he wrote: “Hear my prayer, O God;

(Psalm 54:2, NASU).⁸

Sometimes words can’t express everything that’s in our heart. When that happens, we can take comfort from knowing the Spirit understands us and intercedes on our behalf. Hence, Paul wrote in Romans chapter eight:

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:26-27, NASU).⁸

Despite the Spirit’s work, however, we should be very concerned about our words, in part, because our words will either hinder or enhance our communication with God.⁸

(2) A funeral is no place to crack a joke. A library is not the place to lead a cheer for your favorite football team. To entertain, we may tell a story. To get information, we may ask a question. Unfortunately, Pratt says Christians seldom use that much variety when they talk with God. Instead, our tendency is to follow one or two prayer patterns we’ve learned (or developed) over the years, no matter what our circumstances or intentions may be.⁹

Although one Christian’s prayers may differ somewhat from another’s, they generally follow similar patterns. Some believers, for example, use the acronym “JOY” – i.e. “Jesus, Others, Yourself”. Others follow the pattern of “Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication” (i.e. ACTS). These models have helped many Christians, especially new believers, learn to balance the various parts of prayer. Yet, every model is limited in its ability to meet the various needs we inevitably experience.⁹

Even the Lord’s Prayer isn’t to be used as a strict model for communicating with God in all situations (c.f. Matthew 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4). Obviously it has much to teach us when it comes to learning how to pray – but it’s really only a summary or outline, which Jesus gave as a general guide to prayer, not a specific rule to follow at all times. We know this, in part, because Jesus Himself prayed in ways that did not precisely follow the model He gave His disciples (c.f. John 17:1-26).⁹

The bottom line is, no single model can communicate all the concerns of the human heart in every situation.⁹

(3) That’s why the Psalms are such good examples of prayer. In one place the psalmist lifts up praises, saying:

(Psalm 136:1, NASU).

In another place he offers a lament, saying:

(Psalm 90:7, NKJV).

In still another place he simply makes a statement, as in:

(Psalm 43:4).

Elsewhere he asks questions, as in:

(Psalm 77:7, NIV).⁹

The psalmists used all kinds of expressions and/or patterns in prayer, and so should we. For example, a mother who has just seen her stillborn child may find it almost impossible to begin her prayer with adoration – yet, in Christ, she is free to express her grief and pain. Likewise, a father doesn’t have to confess his sins before he can give thanks for the accomplishments of his children – in Christ, he can simply start praising God!¹⁰

The Book of Psalms teaches us to vary the content and form of our prayers according to our circumstances and/or even our response to those circumstances (see figure 1.4).¹⁰

(4) Variety in prayer, then, is vital to effective communication with God. Following the same pattern again and again will destroy our prayer life, just as surely as it destroys our earthly conversations. The same words, said in the same way, at the same time, over and over, will eventually drain the life out of our communication with God. Yet, if we learn from the psalmists, and begin to imitate the freedom and creativity of their prayers, we have every reason to expect our communication with God to grow richer and more inspiring with each passing day.¹⁰

(5) In the coming weeks, we will be examining these three elements of prayer more closely – looking at some of the things Scripture has to say about God, ourselves, and our communication. As we do, by God’s enabling grace we will hopefully begin to overcome some of the frustrations we’ve encountered with prayer in the past – and start experiencing more fully the rich blessing of talking with our great God and Savior.¹¹

**IS MESSAGE IS BASED ALMOST ENTIRELY ON THE PREFACE AND FIRST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK BY RICHARD PRATT, JR. ENTITLED, “PRAY WITH YOUR EYES OPEN.” IT WAS PRESENTED TO THE CONGREGATION AT WESTMINSTER PCA IN ALAMOGORDO, NM ON JANUARY 30^TH FOR THEIR INSTRUCTION AND EDIFICATION, AS PART OF THE CHURCH’S PRAYER EMPHASIS IN 2005. A DISCUSSION OF THE QUESTIONS FOUND AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER FOLLOWED. THE CONGREGATION WAS FULLY AWARE OF WHERE THE MATERIAL CAME FROM, AND MANY HAVE ACTUALLY PURCHASED A COPY OF THE BOOK FOR THEIR OWN USE.