(“The Distinctive Mark Of Christ’s Disciples”)

John 13:31-35

(John 13:34-35)

(A) THE COMMAND TO LOVE

(1) Commands to love, like the one in this morning’s text, are scattered throughout Scripture. One of the earliest can be found in the Book of Leviticus, where God said: “you shall love your neighbor as yourself” (c.f. Leviticus 19:18). One of the first in the New Testament comes from the lips of our Savior in His Sermon on the Mount, when He said: “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (c.f. Matthew 5:44).

Interestingly, both those commands to love others appear chronologically before commands to love God – even though Jesus once said, “the great and foremost commandment” is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” (c.f. Matthew 22:37) – and after that comes the “second”, which is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (c.f. Matthew 22:39).

Elsewhere, Scripture tells us there is an inseparable connection between these great commands, to love God and to love our neighbor – in this regard, that, “the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen” (c.f. I John 4:20b). Indeed, Scripture says anyone who claims to “love God”, while harboring hatred in his heart for his “brother”, is “a liar” (c.f. I John 4:20a) – at least so far as the validity of his profession of love for God is concerned.

(2) The fact there are so many commands in the Bible regarding love is significant – for it means fallen men and women do not naturally love each other the way Scripture says they should – nor do Christians instinctively “love one other” the way Jesus said we should (c.f. John 13:34-35) – hence, God commands us again and again to “love one another” (c.f. John 15:17). But, exhortations alone are not enough (c.f. Romans 7:9-11) – our Sovereign God and Savior must also graciously enable us to obey (c.f. John 15:5).

(3) It would be a mistake to assume non-Christians are incapable of loving each other at all – for Scripture indicates unredeemed people are able to give and receive love, albeit not the kind found in today’s text.

For example, many non-Christians love each other “erotically” (II Samuel 13:1-15) – many love the members of their “family”, like their children and parents (c.f. Matthew 10:37) – many even love the people they call their “friends” (c.f. Luke 6:32-33). I’m not suggesting all non-Christians love in these ways – nor am I suggesting non-Christians always love in these ways – but generally speaking non-Christians have the capacity to love in a limited, fallen way.

Therefore, if I were only allowed to choose one or two words to describe the kind of love non-Christians have for each other, I would pick words like “selfish” and “reciprocal”. I would pick “selfish” because the kind of love a natural man has for others is always motivated by self-interest to a greater or lesser degree (as captured in the lyrics of an old song that said, “I love you for how you make me feel when I’m with you”). I would pick the word “reciprocal” because lost people generally love those who love them (hence, Jesus once said: “Even people without God are nice to their friends” – c.f. Matthew 5:47b, International Children’s Bible).

(4) Because non-Christians are spiritually dead in their trespasses and sins (c.f. Ephesians 2:1), they have neither the desire nor the ability to obey biblical commands regarding love, like the one found in this morning’s text. Indeed, in a fallen world, where the work of sanctification is on-going, and therefore incomplete (hence, the need for Christians to confess their sins on a regular basis – c.f. I John 1:8-10), (in such a world) even Christians are incapable of obeying the biblical commands regarding love perfectly – indeed, the fact we are able to obey them in any fashion at all is due to Christ’s enabling grace, rather than any natural or instinctive ability on our part. Hence, to paraphrase Peter, “if it is with difficulty that the righteous (are able to obey God’s commands regarding love), (then how can) the godless man and the sinner (be expected to obey)?” (c.f. I Peter 4:18).

What I’m getting at is this – in order to love others the way Jesus tells us to in today’s text, a person must first be a Christian (which may be why Jesus waited until Judas left before giving His disciples the command to “love one another”!) – in order to even come close to obeying the commands in Scripture regarding agape-love, a person must have repented of their sins, and professed faith in Jesus Christ as the only Savior of sinners – in keeping with the Scripture that says: ^{11“God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. 12He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life”} (c.f. I John 5:11-12).

(B) THE LOVE THAT’S COMMANDED

(1) It’s interesting to note that Jesus said our “love (for) one another” would be the distinctive mark by which others (both inside and outside the church) would “know” we are “(His) disciples” – that our “love (for) one another” would be the special characteristic by which “all men” would “know” we are Christians (c.f. John 13:35) – NOT the architecture of the building we meet in – NOT the style of worship we prefer – NOT the form of government by which we are ruled – NOT the mode of baptism we practice, or how we serve communion – NOT even the day of the week we meet for corporate worship – BUT LOVE!

(a) This is such a radical thought – and/or so foreign to the way we normally think – that I feel compelled to offer some words of caution.

The first is to anyone who might be saying to themselves: “I knew it! All we need is love – it’s all about love – as long as we love one another, nothing else matters!”

I would point out that Jesus did NOT say, “love is the only thing we need” – that He did not say, “as long as we love one another, nothing else matters.” What He DID say is: “men will know … (we) are (His) disciples, if (we) … love … one another” (c.f. John 13:35), which is much different from saying, “Love is all that matters”!

I would also point out that Scripture has a great deal to say about things like worship, and communion, and baptism, and even how Christ’s visible churches are to be governed – things which (by His enabling grace) we need to do our best to understand and then put into practice – especially since Jesus also said the primary way we show our love for Him is by obeying His commands (c.f. John 14:15; I John 5:3) – not just some of His commands, but ALL His commands – not just those having to do with love, but also those that do not deal with love directly.

It would be a mistake, then, to “jump on the love train” (so to speak) by interpreting Jesus’ words in our text to mean “nothing matters except love.” Love DOES matter – BUT, in a fallen world, lots of other things also matter – like “righteousness, godliness, faith, perseverance and gentleness”, all of which Scripture exhorts us to “pursue” in addition to “love” (c.f. I Timothy 6:11) – things like “truth, wisdom, instruction and understanding”, which Scripture also tells to “acquire” (c.f. Proverbs 23:23).

Still, the fact remains that Jesus said love, more than anything else – more than perseverance, more than wisdom, more than faith or understanding – (that love) will be the distinctive mark by which Christians are identified.

(b) The other word of caution I would offer is to anyone who might be thinking: “I know love is important – but other things are important, too! Our view of Scripture is important – what we think about Christ’s Second Coming is important – giving to missions is important – discovering and using our spiritual gifts is important – prayer and bible study are important! And to suggest otherwise opens the door to all kind of abuse and error!”

I would point out that Jesus is not suggesting otherwise – that Jesus didn’t say these other things are not important – He simply said love is the distinctive mark by which “men will know … (we) are (His) disciples” (c.f. John 13:35). He didn’t say things like prayer and bible study (for example) aren’t important – indeed, the fact He has given us commands in Scripture regarding these things tells us they ARE important! He simply said love is more important – that love is at the top of a list of things we need to be concerned about – that if we’re going to rank these kinds of things, then love is to be given preeminence.

In saying this, I believe I’m following the teachings of Scripture and our Lord – who, when asked: “which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (c.f. Matthew 22:36, NIV), answered: “the first and greatest commandment (is to), ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’” (c.f. Matthew 22:37-38, NIV). His answer, however, did not imply that the Ten Commandments (c.f. Exodus 20:1-17), for example, were no longer of any importance (c.f. Matthew 22:40).

Likewise, when Paul told the Corinthians to “pursue love”, he didn’t mean spiritual gifts weren’t important – on the contrary, he told them to “earnestly desire spiritual gifts” (c.f. I Corinthians 14:1). And, in a similar fashion, when he said: “the greatest of these is love”, he didn’t mean that “faith and hope” were of no importance – indeed, he said all three would continue to “abide” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:13).

Nevertheless, the fact remains that Jesus did not say, “all men will know us by our faith, or by our hope, or by our spiritual gifts” – He didn’t say “all men would know us by how much we give to missions, or how many bible studies we attend” (as important as those things are!) – He simply said that “love is the distinctive mark by which people will know we are His disciples” (c.f. John 13:35).

(c) Those who have been part of the Westminster family for a long time know the elders and I believe right doctrine is vitally important – and the reason we believe that is because Scripture says doctrine is important! That’s why pastors like myself are commanded to, “exhort in sound doctrine” (c.f. Titus 1:9) – and to “speak the things that are fitting for sound doctrine” (c.f. Titus 2:1). That’s why Scripture warns all of us NOT to be “tossed here and there … by every wind of (false) doctrine” (c.f. Ephesians 4:14) – and to be on guard against the time when people in general “will not endure sound doctrine … wanting (instead) to have their ears tickled (by false) teachers … (who) will turn (them) away … from the truth … to (religious/spiritual) myths” (c.f. II Timothy 2:3-4).

The preaching of sound doctrine is one way to tell a true church from a false one – but it is not the primary thing by which “men will know (we are Christ’s) disciples” –rather, Jesus said they will know we are Christians by our “love for one another” (c.f. John 13:35). Indeed, sound doctrine teaches us that love (more than doctrine) is the unique mark by which people who claim to be Christians can be identified as actually being Christ’s disciples.

The question is, what kind of “love” are we talking about? What kind of “love” identifies us as Jesus’ “disciples” (c.f. John 13:35)?

(2) The New Testament was originally written in Greek – and of the four words for “love” found in that language, the one used throughout this morning’s text (and in every other text we’ve looked at so far in this series!) is “agape”.¹

(a) “Eros” (which doesn’t even appear in the New Testament) was unfit because over time it came to be associated more with lust than love – more with acts of immorality like adultery, fornication and homosexuality, than with what we might call pure and/or wholesome love.²

(b) “Storge” (which appears three times in the New Testament – c.f. Romans 1:31) evolved into a word having to do with natural or family affection – the kind of love parents and children usually have for each other – the kind of love relatives often have for each other. Family affection is a good thing, even within the context of a church family – however, “storge” simply didn’t have the depth or breadth² needed to define the kind of love Jesus had in mind in today’s text – i.e. the kind of love that needs to be extended to those for whom we have no natural affection.

(c) “Phileo” (which appears more than fifty times in the New Testament – c.f. John 11:3) is a good word – but it had come to be associated with warm reciprocal feelings – the kind of feelings friends usually have for each other – and while good, as far as it goes, the love that is distinctively Christian has to be far more comprehensive than that² – it has to include those for whom we have no warm feelings, and/or who do not return our love.

(d) So, under the guiding inspiration of the Holy Spirit (c.f. II Peter 1:20-21), the various human authors of the New Testament latched onto the word “agape” – in part, because secular Greek writers had not used it often enough to give it a negative or unacceptable connotation, such as the other three Greek words for love had taken on.³ Hence, “agape” became the key New Testament word⁴ for the kind of love Jesus had in mind in our text when He said: ^{34“A new commandment I give … you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you … 35By this all men will know … you are My disciples, if you have love for one another”} (c.f. John 13:34-35).

(3) So, what are some of the unique characteristics of agape-love? What are some of the special qualities of this love that is supposed to be the distinguishing mark of people like you and me who claim to be Christ’s disciples? What are some of the distinctive traits of this love Jesus said we are to have “for one another” (c.f. John 13:35)?

(a) For one thing, agape-love is not based on emotion – it does NOT depend on warm, fuzzy feelings – rather, it’s more a matter of choice – more a matter of the will.

That’s not to say agape-love is devoid of emotion – as a matter of fact, it often expresses itself in the midst of some very negative emotions. Sometimes, moreover, it’s mixed in with “storge’s” natural affection, or “phileo’s” mutual affection. The point is, agape-love is not driven by feelings – it differs from other loves based primarily on emotion in that it is driven more by the mind than the heart. Hence, one writer said: “it is not simply an emotion that arises unbidden in our hearts; it is a principle by which we deliberately (choose to) live.”⁵

To illustrate this, we need to remember the biblical backdrop against which Jesus’ command to “love one another, even as I have loved you” (c.f. John 13:34) is given. Scripture says, God loved us “while we were yet sinners” (c.f. Romans 5:8) – that God loved us by sending “His Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (c.f. I John 4:10) (i.e. to appease His wrath) – that Jesus loved us enough to die for us, even though “all our righteous deeds (were) like a filthy garment” in God’s sight (c.f. Isaiah 64:6) – hence, His cry from the cross: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (c.f. Mark 15:34). Why? Because God the Father found our sins (which Jesus took upon Himself on the cross) (He found our sins to be) utterly and completely offensive! Hence, the Scripture says: “(God’s) eyes are too pure to approve evil, and (He) can not look on wickedness with favor” (c.f. Habakkuk 1:13).

The point I’m trying to make is this – the Father’s love for us (as well as that of the Son) was not based anything in us He found attractive, or loveable, or appealing – rather, it was based on His elective choice. Hence, Scripture says: “In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will” (c.f. Ephesians 1:4c-5). The fact God “willed” to have compassion on us was a matter of agape-love – as opposed to anything in us or about us that deserved His compassion.

So, when Jesus tells us to “love one another, even as I have loved you” (c.f. John 13:34), at least part of what He’s saying is that we are love each other the way He has loved us – that I am to choose to love you, and you are to choose to love me – that I am to love you even if you don’t excite any passionate, natural or friendship-like feelings in me, and you are to love me even I don’t excite any passionate, natural, friendship-like feelings in you.

(b) Along these lines, then, we can say that agape-love is also characterized by self-sacrifice. Hence, in a passage we looked at earlier, Paul said: “walk in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma” (c.f. Ephesians 5:2).

Obviously this verse refers to our Savior’s death on the cross – a death the human part of Him shrank back from in the Garden of Gethsemane when He prayed to have the cup removed (c.f. Luke 22:42) – a death that was bad enough physically, and even more horrible spiritually (c.f. Matthew 27:46).

We also need to remember Jesus sacrificed the form of God to take on the form of a man (c.f. Philippians 2:6-7) – and that, not just for thirty-three years, but for the rest of eternity! Hence, the Scripture says: “there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the MAN Christ Jesus” (c.f. I Timothy 2:5) (remember, Jesus’ work as our mediator did not end on the cross, it goes on forever – see I John 2:1).

The point is, Jesus loved us sacrificially – and we are to follow His example by “loving one another” sacrificially.

The sacrificial nature of agape-love is expressed in representative passages like these – ^{3“with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others”} (c.f. Philippians 2:3-4) – and again: “(bear) with one another, and forgiv(e) each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you” (c.f. Colossians 3:13) – and again: “whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?” (c.f. I John 3:17) – and once more: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (c.f. Ephesians 5:25).

James once said that “faith without works is dead” (c.f. James 2:26). In a similar fashion, we can say: “love that’s devoid of deliberate personal sacrifice is not agape-love”.

(c) In keeping with what we’ve just said, another characteristic of agape-love is that it finds practical ways to express itself. Hence, the Scripture says: “Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth” (c.f. I John 3:18) – and again: “God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints” (c.f. Hebrews 6:10).

Agape-love does not limit itself to pious good wishes – it sacrifices self by finding practical ways to get involved in other people’s lives.⁶ Agape-love doesn’t “pass by on the other side,” like the priest and Levite in the parable of the Good Samaritan – rather, it does what it can about the situation, even if it costs us more in terms of time, money, emotional pain, or whatever, than we’re ever going to get back (c.f. Luke 10:30-35).

At the end of that parable Jesus asked: “Which of these three (men) do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?” – and the man to whom Jesus was speaking said, “The one who showed (him) mercy” – after which Jesus drove home His point, saying: “Go and do the same” (c.f. Luke 10:36-37).

Jesus chose to love us with a sacrificial, practical love – and as His redeemed people, we are to “go and do the same” – indeed, “loving one another” with an agape, Christ-like love is the distinctive mark of Jesus’ disciples (c.f. John 13:34-35).

#25 and #26.