(“Patient and Kind”) (I)

I Corinthians 12:31-13:8a

(I Corinthians 13:4a)

(A) REFLECTING THE IMAGE OF GOD

(1) Of all the creatures that exist on the face of the earth, human beings are unique, because Scripture says we ALONE have been made in the image and likeness of God (c.f. Genesis 1:26-27) – which means we resemble Him in ways other creatures do not.

(a) Since the Bible says, “God is spirit” (c.f. John 4:24a), that semblance has little to do with our physical form, and more to do with intangible things like the ability to think rationally, make moral choices, and experience emotion¹ – which would include the ability to give and receive love.

(b) God’s image in us, as we’ve BRIEFLY described it, has been distorted by the Fall¹ – in this regard, that we often reason our way to wrong conclusions – make immoral choices – and express our emotions in ways that are self-destructive and offensive, both to God and others. And yet, that image has NOT been completely lost, because we still have the ability to reason, and choose, and feel – albeit only as sinful creatures, and in sinful ways – UNTIL such time as God graciously enables us to repent of our sin and profess faith in Jesus Christ. After which we are exhorted to, “put on the new self who is being renewed … according to the image of the One who created him” (c.f. Colossians 3:10).

(2) The Bible says, “God is love” (c.f. I John 4:8b) – and as His redeemed people, we are to reflect His image by being loving in our relationships. Scripture places special emphasis on loving our brothers and sisters in Christ – but we’re also told to love those outside the church (c.f. I Peter 2:17), as well as those who are our enemies (c.f. Matthew 5:44).

(a) According to Scripture, we Christians are being conformed to the IMAGE of our Savior, Jesus Christ (c.f. Romans 8:29). And, since Jesus is God come in human flesh (c.f. John 1:1, 14), that’s the equivalent of saying the image of God (which was distorted at the Fall) is now being restored in us.

Although full restoration won’t be complete until we get to heaven, the process is already under way – and part of that process includes learning how to love each other the way Christ loves us. Hence, shortly before His crucifixion, Jesus told His disciples: ^{34“A new commandment I give … you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you … 35By this all men will know … you are My disciples, if you have love for one another”} (c.f. John 13:34-35).

(b) There are many things that ought to set Christians apart – that ought to bear witness to the fact we are Christ’s disciples – that ought to distinguish us from other people. Those characteristics include (but are not limited to) our belief that the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments are God’s SOLE inspired Word – our observance of the sacraments of baptism and the Lord’s Supper – our commitment to Christ’s bride, the church – our faith in Jesus of Nazareth as the ONLY Savior of sinners (and therefore, the ONLY way of salvation) – our hope that we will spend eternity in heaven, in the presence of God, thanks to the death, resurrection and continued intercession of Jesus Christ on our behalf – and, our hope that our Savior will return as He promised – to mention just a few.

(c) “FAITH” is an important characteristic – because without it we cannot be saved. Our commitment to right doctrine is important – because without it we can’t know the truth about God, or ourselves, or the way of salvation, or how we are supposed to live. “HOPE” is an important characteristic – because without it we may lose heart, be overcome by sin, or fall into unbelief.

But Scripture says, “the GREATEST of these is love” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:13b) – and Jesus said the one mark above all others, by which people will know we are Christians, is our “love (for) one another” (c.f. John 15:12). Nor are we talking about just any kind of love – rather we’re talking about a love that reflects the image or likeness of that which Jesus has for those He died on the cross to save (c.f. John 13:1). Hence, Scripture exhorts us to: “be imitators of God … and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for (you), (as) an offering and … sacrifice to God” (c.f. Ephesians 5:1-2).

(3) Unfortunately, the kind of love that’s supposed to typify Christ’s disciples doesn’t always characterize the leaders or members of a local congregation² – which may help explain why people sometimes ask: “Where’s the love?” This may also help explain why variations of the command to “love one another” (c.f. Romans 13:8; I Peter 1:22) occur more times in Scripture than any other “one-anothering” command.

(a) Love certainly didn’t characterize the church in first-century Corinth – which explains why Paul inserted this morning’s inspired essay on love right in the middle of a three-chapter discourse on the proper way to use spiritual gifts (c.f. I Corinthians 12-14).

(b) The first three verses of chapter thirteen underscore the vanity and futility of trying to exercise gifts like tongues, or prophecy or giving without agape-love (c.f. I Corinthians 13:1-3). Indeed, one writer summed up these verses as follows: “without love a person produces nothing (v 1), is nothing (v 2), and gains nothing (v 3).³

By way of application we can say that Christ-like love should be the regulating principle for ALL our actions,⁴ whether a specific gift of the Spirit happens to be involved or not. The question is, what does this love look like?

(4) Verses four through eight of this morning’s Scripture lesson (c.f. I Corinthians 13:4-8a) give us as good a representative description of agape-love as we will find anywhere in the Bible.

(a) By my count there are sixteen characteristics, including “patience and kindness” (v 4a). And while we might think of them as adjectives, I’ve read that in the Greek they are actually verbs – which means these characteristic don’t focus on what love IS, so much as they focus on what love DOES or does NOT do.⁵

(b) To put it another way, agape-love doesn’t just FEEL – it acts. It doesn’t just think about being patient, it actually puts patience into practice – it doesn’t just know what kindness is in an intellectual sort of way, it follows through with specific ACTS of kindness.⁵

To paraphrase the Book of James, agape-love doesn’t just look at a brother or sister who’s cold and hungry, and say: “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled” (c.f. James 2:15-16) – it takes practical steps to see that they are fed and clothed (c.f. Matthew 25:34-46) – even if those steps are inconvenient, call for personal sacrifice, or if the person needing help isn’t particularly pleasant to be around.

As Scripture says elsewhere: “let us not love (just) with (our) word(s)… but (also by our) deed(s)” (c.f. I John 3:18). After all, Jesus didn’t just say He loved us, He actually came to earth and showed us – first-hand – by His actions – which included giving up the form of God to become a man (c.f. Philippians 2:6), and then dying for us on the cross (c.f. John 15:13-14)!

(c) More than one writer has suggested that Paul’s description of love is really a picture of the character and life of Jesus Christ⁶ – that Jesus is the personification of each one of these characteristics – that Jesus is the perfect example of patience, the embodiment of kindness, the epitome of what it means to “bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:4a, 7). Hence, one writer said Paul is painting a portrait of love in verses four through eight, and Jesus Christ is sitting for the portrait.⁷

(B) AGAPE-LOVE IS PATIENT

(1) We turn, then, to the first characteristic Paul mentions, which is patience – saying simply in our text that, “Love is patient” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:4a). And just so there’s no confusion, the word “patience” as used here, and throughout much of the New Testament, refers to being patient with PEOPLE rather than circumstances or events.⁷

(2) The Greek word for patience (“makrothumeo”) is a compound word that literally means “to persevere” or “to delay for a long period of time”.⁸

(a) Agape-love is “patient” because (by Christ’s enabling grace) a person is able to endure or “persevere”, even with difficult people – hence, the NKJV renders our text as, “Love SUFFERS LONG” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:4a, NKJV).

(b) Agape-love is also “patient” because it’s able to “delay” giving up on a person, or retaliating in kind – not in the sense of putting these responses on hold for a reasonable length of time, and then letting the chips fly – but in the sense of making a deliberate choice NOT to give up on a person, or NOT to give in to the desire to exact some form of retribution on them (c.f. I Corinthians 13:7-8a). Hence, Scripture tells us to, “be patient with everyone” (c.f. I Thessalonians 5:14e) – while in another place we’re told to, “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which (we) have been called, with all humility and gentleness (and) patience, showing tolerance for one another in love” (c.f. Ephesians 2:1-2).

(c) As you know, compound words bring two words together to form a new one – like the English words “no” and “thing” were combined to form the word “nothing”.

One of the Greek words for “patience” (“makros”) refers to “long distances” – while the other (“thumos”) has to do with giving vent to feelings of “indignation”, or “outbursts of anger”.⁸ When put together, then, the Greek word for “patience” has to do with putting as much “distance” as possible between ourselves and any actual or potential “feelings of anger” we may have for another person – or putting as much “distance” as we can between our frustration or “irritation” and the person we’re supposed to be loving like Christ loves us.

One of the early church fathers named Chrysostom said love’s patience is seen whenever a person has been wronged – has it within their power to avenge themselves – and chooses not to do so for Christ’s sake.⁷

A more contemporary writer simply said, “patience doesn’t retaliate”.⁷ Another described patience as, “the willingness to take another person’s unpleasant behavior in stride.”⁹ While still another said: “Patience is measured by our ability to endure something we’d rather not.”¹⁰

(d) However we define it, we need to understand that loving patience is not a passive quality, whereby we simply resign ourselves to the idea that we’re going to have to put up with another person no matter what. On the contrary, it’s a proactive quality, based on a deliberate choice – a choice to follow Christ’s example – a choice to NOT rashly act on any sudden emotions that may arise, like anger, or irritation, or resentment – a choice to “bear with” a person despite their offensive remarks or behavior – a choice to exercise “long-suffering” toward those who are repeat offenders (so to speak) – a choice (if the situation calls for it) to talk with people about their offensive sinful behavior in a biblical way, without ceasing to care about them or ceasing to associate with them if they don’t stop.

To put it another way, loving patience WORKS on broken relationships – loving patience WORKS on those feelings of irritation or anger – loving patience WORKS to help a brother or sister in Christ deal with a problem in their life – loving patience keeps teaching the same things over and over again until the one being taught gets it – loving patience forgives the same offense as many times as the offender asks us to do so. In short, loving patience perseveres – not by default, but by a deliberate Christ-like choice.

Admittedly all this is easier said than done – which is one reason why must constantly “walk by faith” (as it were) in such matters (c.f. II Corinthians 5:7), always relying on Christ’s enabling “grace to help” us do what we cannot do by ourselves (c.f. Hebrews 4:16).

(3) It’s interesting to note that many people in Paul’s day did not consider the kind of patience spoken of in our text to be a positive quality – that the Greek world looked upon this kind of self-sacrificing, non-avenging patience as a weakness rather than a strength.⁷

(a) Aristotle, for example, taught that men should NOT tolerate insults or injuries¹¹ – that vengeance was a virtue – and that people should “return fire” (so to speak) for even the slightest offense.⁷

Nor was this attitude unique to Greek culture. As a matter of fact, it was how men thought during the days between the Fall and the Flood – as represented by a man named Lamech, who told his wives: “I have killed a man for wounding me; and a boy for striking me” (c.f. Genesis 4:23c) – thereby bragging about the vengeance he took out on those who had hurt him in some way.

The problem still persists today. We see it in business – we see it in athletics – we see it on the highway (in the form of road rage). Our culture tends to make heroes out of people who fight back – certain segments of society admire people who stand up for themselves and their rights⁷ – the general public often “idolizes” people who don’t take anything off anyone. In short, the world praises defending ourselves, and retaliating for any insults or injuries we may receive – while Scripture praises loving-patience and long-suffering.¹¹

(b) Nor is God requiring something of us that He does not do Himself. On the contrary, patience is one of His many attributes – indeed, the NKJV says He is, “the God of patience” (c.f. Romans 15:5a, NKJV).

The attribute of God’s “patience” often appears in Scripture in connection with words like “mercy” and “long-suffering”, or the phrase “slow to anger”. Hence, Scripture says, for example, that God is: “merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth” (c.f. Psalm 86:15) – and again (in the NKJV): “The Lord is longsuffering and abundant in mercy” (c.f. Numbers 14:18a, NKJV).

Elsewhere, it is the “patience” of God that causes Him to withhold His righteous judgment, thereby giving sinful men and women (like ourselves) more time to repent (c.f. Romans 2:1-5). Indeed, Scripture says He, “endure(s) with MUCH PATIENCE vessels of wrath prepared for destruction” (c.f. Romans 9:22) – which led Jonathan Edwards to write that: “The long-suffering of God is very wonderfully manifest in His bearing innumerable (offenses) from men … that are very great and long-continued”¹² – and Arthur Pink adds that: “The patience of God is that excellency which causes Him to sustain great (offenses against His holiness) without immediately avenging Himself.”¹³

What most lost people don’t realize is that they are benefiting from God’s patience even as we speak – just like you and I didn’t realize it until after we had been mercifully and graciously saved.

(c) So while the world may not consider “patience” a virtue, God certainly does – which is why we read passages like these – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, (and) goodness” (c.f. Galatians 5:22) – and again: “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with PATIENCE, showing tolerance for one another in love” (c.f. Ephesians 5:1-2) – and once more: “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and PATIENCE; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone” (c.f. Colossians 3:12).

(4) So we see, then, that agape-love “is patient” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:4a) – that one of the characteristics of Christ’s love for us is “patience” – hence, “patience” ought to characterize our love for one-another, as well as our love for those outside the Body of Christ.

(a) Just last week, as I was doing my studying for this message, a situation arose that required loving patience on my part – and I failed miserably. Which goes to show that if it were easy to be patient, there wouldn’t be any need for passages like First Corinthians chapter thirteen – if it were easy to be patient, we wouldn’t need this morning’s text – if it were easy to be lovingly-patient, we wouldn’t need these divine instructions, nor would we need the enabling grace of our Savior to help us obey.

(b) There’s a parable in the Gospel of Matthew that illustrates one reason why loving-patience is important. It’s normally thought of as a parable about with forgiveness – and it’s certainly that – but it’s also about patience, as the verses I will quote in just a moment show.

It’s about a slave who ran up a debt that was humanly impossible to repay. When ask to give an account of himself, the slave fell on the ground and said: “Have PATIENCE with me and I will repay you everything” – which, of course, he couldn’t. Nevertheless, the king “felt compassion” for his slave, and “forgave (the entire) debt”.

But then, that same slave went out and found another slave who owed him a small amount – very payable – and demanded immediate payment. When this second slave ask for a little time, saying: “Have PATIENCE with me and I will repay you”, the first man refused, and threw his fellow-slave into prison.

When the king heard about this, he called that first slave in and said: “I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way I had mercy on you?” And with that, the king handed the first slave “over to the torturers” until such time as he could repay what he owed (which would have been never!) (c.f. Matthew 18:23-35).

The word for “patience” Jesus used in this parable is the same word used in our text. And though this parable has to do first and foremost of all with forgiveness, it also has to do with things like compassion and patience – indeed, things like forgiveness and compassion and patience are often inseparable.

(c) The point is this – God has been, and continues to be, lovingly-patient with us. Therefore, we ought to show others the same kind of patience we have been shown – at home – at school – at work – and in the church. We ought to show others the same kind of loving-patience Christ has shown (and continues to show) us – at the gas station – at the grocery store – and at the restaurant. We ought to show our mechanic, our waitress, and our city officials, the same kind of loving-patience we have been shown. We ought to show the young and the elderly, the deacons and the elders, the building committee and the missions committee, and every other person in the congregation, the same kind of loving-patience God has shown (and continues to show) us.

To paraphrase Matthew 5:48 – “we are to be patient, just as our heavenly Father is patient”. Or, to paraphrase what the king said to that unforgiving, unsympathetic impatient slave – “I was patient with you. Should you not also be patient with your fellow slaves?” (c.f. Matthew 18:32-33). And obviously, the answer is, “Yes”.