(“When Tempted To Commit Adultery”)

Exodus 20:14 (NASU)

(Exodus 20:14)

(A) ESTABLISHING THE PARAMETERS

(1) The seventh of God’s Ten Commandments says: “You shall not commit adultery” (c.f. Exodus 20:14). As far as Scripture is concerned, that command encompasses every act of sexual immorality we can think of – including (but not limited to) homosexuality, pedophilia, incest, and fornication. Today, though, we will confine ourselves to a more conventional definition of adultery – namely, an intimate physical relationship between two people of the opposite gender, one or both of whom are married, albeit not to each other.

(2) Our Lord said people can commit adultery without ever coming into physical contact – that our eyes can become the instruments whereby we commit adultery in our hearts (c.f. Matthew 5:27-28) – indeed, the other person may not even know what we’ve done! Scripture indicates physical adultery is always preceded by adultery in the heart (whether the time in between be long or short) (c.f. Genesis 39:7; II Samuel 11:2; Mark 7:21). This morning, though, we are concerned primarily with physical adultery.

(3) Jesus also once said that “whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (c.f. Matthew 19:9). This morning, however, we will NOT be dealing with the difficult and often painful issues raised by divorce and remarriage. Although some of the things I say may relate to these issues, unraveling all the questions our Savior’s words raise in our minds is way beyond the scope of this message. Our focus will be on adultery in what I will call the typical sense – i.e. between a man and woman, one or both of whom are married, only not to each other.

(4) There are also numerous references in Scripture to spiritual adultery – i.e. where people choose to worship false gods instead of the true God (c.f. Ezekiel 6:9) – or, in some instances, where they try and worship both. Scripture also applies the term “adulteresses” to people who choose friendship with the world over friendship with God (c.f. James 4:4). Spiritual adultery is a grave sin. However, it’s not the kind of adultery we will be dealing with today.

(5) Physical adultery is a very serious matter, as evidenced by its inclusion in God’s Ten Commandments (c.f. Exodus 20:14), Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (c.f. Matthew 5:27-32), certain homilies found in the Book of Proverbs (c.f. Proverbs 6:20-35), and the fact it was punishable by death in the Old Testament (c.f. Leviticus 20:10). It wrecks homes – ruins families – and destroys marriages. Worst of all, it is highly offensive to God – and until we repent and forsake it, we will find ourselves effectively cut off from Him (c.f. Isaiah 59:2) – just ask David (c.f. Psalm 32:3-4; 51:1-4).

(6) Having said that, however, in keeping with the theme of this series, “Grace to Help in Times of Need”, it’s my intention and hope that at least two groups of people will benefit from today’s message – those who are and/or will be tempted to commit adultery – and those who already have. With that in mind, then, let’s pause to pray.

Heavenly Father, teach us Your statutes – but don’t stop there – help us to observe them as well. Enable us to understand Your laws – but don’t stop there – help us keep them with our whole heart. Cause us to walk in the path of Your commandments – but don’t stop there – help us to delight in doing so (Psalm 119:33-35).

As we study Your word today, may Your Holy Spirit incline our hearts to obedience rather than sin – to moral purity instead of moral corruption – to marital faithfulness rather than infidelity, that our lives might truly reflect Your image and likeness.

Glorify Yourself by graciously protecting us from the temptation to commit adultery – bring honor to Yourself by mercifully forgiving us when we succumb – magnify Your name by enabling us to resist similar temptations in the future. For we ask these things in Jesus’ name – Amen.

(B) GRACE TO HELP THOSE WHO ARE BEING TEMPTED TO COMMIT ADULTERY

(1) The Scripture says: “since (Jesus) was tempted in that which He … suffered, He is able to come to (our) aid (when we) are tempted” (c.f. Hebrews 2:18) – that includes the times we are tempted to commit adultery. Since that’s the case – and, since Jesus is the only Mediator between God the Father and ourselves (c.f. I Timothy 2:5) – the Scripture also encourages us to “draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so … we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (c.f. Hebrews 4:16). For those who are and/or will be tempted to commit adultery, the grace Christ supplies comes in at least three forms – the first being God’s direct commands.

(a) God’s commands are like signs along the highway, in that they tell us what He requires – what He expects us to do or not do. This is a helpful thing to know, because it eliminates the guesswork as to what does or does not please Him – while also giving us some specific and/or concrete things to put into practice.

Just as a sign along the highway saying 55 mph means the state of New Mexico doesn’t want us driving 70 mph on that stretch of road, so God’s commands regarding adultery indicate He doesn’t want us living morally impure lives. Just as a yellow stripe tells us we’re to stay in our lane and not pass any vehicles in front of us, so God’s laws regarding adultery tell us I’m to keep ourselves chaste, and not dishonor Him by behaving immorally.

God’s commands, then, are rightly viewed as gifts of His grace (c.f. Romans 7:12) – because in them He tells us what’s right and wrong – through them He tells us how we may please Him.

(b) With that in mind, here are some of His commands regarding adultery – Exodus 20:14, “You shall not commit adultery” – Deuteronomy 5:18, “You shall not commit adultery” – Matthew 5:27, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’” – Matthew 19:18, “… Jesus said, ‘… You shall not commit adultery’” – Mark 10:17, “Do not commit adultery” – Luke 18:20, “Do not commit adultery” – Romans 2:22, “one should not commit adultery” – Romans 13:9a, “You shall not commit adultery” – James 2:11, “Do not commit adultery”!

(c) Do I need to remind you what repeating something in Scripture means? – i.e. that repetition is one way God emphasizes things that are especially important? – that repetition, whether in the same verse, the same chapter, the same book, or in the Bible as a whole is a literary technique God uses to draw our attention to things He particularly wants us to know?! So, given the number of times He repeats it, we can only conclude God must consider the command regarding adultery to be pretty important!

(d) We should never overlook or belittle God’s direct commands as a means of His grace – even grace to help us in times of need (c.f. Hebrews 4:16). For anyone who is tempted to commit adultery, God’s word repeatedly counsels both Christians and non-Christians alike: “Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t do it!”

(2) A second helpful (but frequently overlooked) thing Christ graciously gives us are warnings regarding what can (and often does) happen when we succumb to adultery.

(a) Some of these warnings have to do with life here on earth – like Proverbs chapter six, which says: “The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; he who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out. For jealousy enrages a man (i.e. the woman’s husband), and he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not accept any ransom, nor will he be satisfied though you give (him) many gifts” (c.f. Proverbs 6:32-32).

Jeremiah chapter twenty-nine says: “they have acted foolishly (by) commit(ing) adultery with their neighbors’ wives” (c.f. Jeremiah 29:23a) – while back in Proverbs chapter six we also read: “Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; whoever touches her will not go unpunished” (c.f. Proverbs 6:27-29).

(b) Other warnings have to do with life after death, including having to face Almighty God without having repented of the sin of adultery. For example, in First Corinthians chapter six Paul says: “do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God” (c.f. I Corinthians 6:9-10).

Hebrews chapter thirteen says: “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (c.f. Hebrews 13:4) – while in Jeremiah chapter five the Lord says: “‘Why should I pardon you? Your sons have forsaken Me and sworn by those who are not gods. When I had fed them to the full, they committed adultery and trooped to the harlot’s house. They were well-fed lusty horses, each one neighing after his neighbor’s wife. Shall I not punish these people,’ declares the Lord, ‘And on a nation such as this shall I not avenge Myself?’” (c.f. Jeremiah 5:7-9).

(c) Warnings like these are not always appreciated. To be sure, they are sobering reminders of God’s impending judgment on everyone who does not repent of their adulteries and profess faith in Christ – but they are also examples of His grace, in that He takes time to warn Christians and non-Christians alike of the looming consequences of our sinful behavior. Hence, the Scripture says: “See to it that you do not refuse Him who is speaking. For if those did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape who turn away from Him who warns from heaven” (c.f. Hebrews 12:25) – and once more: “(You) admonished them in order to turn them back to Your law. Yet they acted arrogantly and did not listen to Your commandments but sinned against Your ordinances, by which if a man observes them he shall live. And they turned a stubborn shoulder and stiffened their neck, and would not listen” (c.f. Jeremiah 9:29).

The fact Christ warns us about the consequences of committing adultery is one way He graciously comes to our aid in such times of need.

(3) There is, however, one bit of help Christ usually reserves for His redeemed people.

(a) The commands and warnings found in Scripture are part of what we often call God’s common grace, which He extends to Christians and non-Christians alike. Indeed, God’s common grace partially explains why some non-Christians never commit physical adultery (for a possible example, see Genesis 20:1-7).

(b) However, the ability to resist the temptation to commit adultery – to not want to become entangled in it (c.f. Hebrews 12:1b) – to deliberately choose moral purity over the passing pleasures of sin (c.f. Hebrews 11:25b) for Christ’s sake (c.f. I Corinthians 6:16-20), is something the Lord only enables His redeemed people to do.

(c) Here, then, are several promises made to Christians in their hour of need, whereby God promises to come to our aid. First Corinthians chapter ten – “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it” (c.f. I Corinthians 10:13).

This well-known verse has long been a source of help and strength to Christians facing temptations of all kinds. However, it does contain an implicit warning – namely, that if God promises to always protects us from temptations greater than our present ability to resist, we can never fall back on the excuse that our temptation was more than we could handle.¹ To put it another way, if Christians give in to adultery (like David did – c.f. II Samuel 11:1-4) its because that’s what we wanted to do, and not because God broke His promise by giving us a temptation that was more than we could withstand.

Along these same lines, Second Peter chapter two says: “the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation” (c.f. II Peter 2:9). He rescued Joseph from the adulterous advances of Potiphar’s wife (c.f. Genesis 39:7-10) by giving him the fortitude and desire to say no – and He can rescue us from our temptations to commit adultery as well.

Psalm Thirty-Four says: “The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry … The righteous cry, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles … Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all” (c.f. Psalm 34:15-19). In other words, when Christ’s redeemed people cry out to the Father in prayer, He hears and responds – when we tell Him about our temptations, and confess our need for His enabling grace, He answers by giving us the help we need.

(d) That help includes “the full armor of God (which enables us) to stand firm against the schemes of the devil (and/or) be able to resist (him)”. That “armor” includes the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes the gospel, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, the sword of God’s word, and prayer (c.f. Ephesians 6:10-18). By using this God-given pieces of “armor” we Christians can successfully resist any temptation we face – including the temptation to commit adultery.

(C) GRACE TO HELP THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY IN TO THE TEMPTATION TO COMMIT ADULTERY

(1) Although there is ample help available, people still get involved in adulterous situations. Regrettably, this includes Christians. To be sure, some are pseudo-Christians – but not all. David is probably the best known biblical example of a true child of God committing adultery (c.f. II Samuel 11:1-4).

(2) As we’ve already noted, adultery is a very serious sin – but, it’s not unforgivable. We know this, in part, because David was forgiven (c.f. II Samuel 12:13; Psalm 32:1-5) – as was the unnamed woman in John chapter eight, whom Pharisees caught in the act and then brought to Jesus to see what He would do (c.f. John 8:1-11). The question we close with, then, is this – what kind of help does Christ give those who have already succumbed to adultery?

(3) Let’s begin with the help He gives Christians, which is at least three-fold.

(a) First, there’s the matter of confession – i.e. of admitting we’ve sinned against our God and Savior. David exemplifies this, when, after committing adultery, he told Nathan the prophet: “I have sinned against the Lord” (c.f. II Samuel 12:13a). Later, he wrote: “Against You, You only (O Lord), have (I) sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified when You speak and blameless when You judge” (c.f. Psalm 51:4).

Confessing our sin is a necessary prerequisite to being forgiven. Furthermore, it should be understood as a gift of God’s grace, since He’s the One who convinces us we’ve sinned – tells us what we need to do about it – and then graciously enables us to do it. Hence, the Scripture says: “When anyone is guilty … he must confess in what way he has sinned” (c.f. Leviticus 5:5, NIV) – and again: “When a man or woman commits any of the sins of mankind, acting unfaithfully against the Lord … then he shall confess his sins which he has committed” (c.f. Numbers 5:6-7a).

The bottom line is this – if we commit adultery we need to admit we’ve sinned. We must not be like the “adulterous woman” in the Book of Proverbs whom Solomon said, “eats and wipes her mouth, and says, ‘I have done no(thing) wrong’” (c.f. Proverbs 30:20).

(b) Second, there’s the related matter of forsaking our sin (also known as repentance) – which means we put an end to our immoral behavior. For example, as far as we know once David’s affair with Bathsheba was over he never committed adultery again. Likewise, while Jesus did not condemn the woman in John chapter eight who had been caught in the act of adultery, He did tell her: “from now on sin no more” (c.f. John 8:11c). Elsewhere, the Scripture says: “Let the wicked forsake his way” (c.f. Isaiah 55:7a) – and again: “Cease to do evil, learn to do good” (c.f. Isaiah 1:16c-17a) – and once more: “Turn now everyone from his evil way and from the evil of your deeds” (c.f. Jeremiah 25:5a).

While our Savior has graciously made provision for any repeated slips that may occur (c.f. Matthew 18:21-22), the fact remains if we are not making a genuine effort to forsake our sin (albeit by His enabling grace), there’s no reason to think we’ve “died to sin” as the Book of Romans says (c.f. Romans 6:1-2) – which, in turn, calls into question the validity of our profession of faith in Christ.

The bottom line is this – if we’ve committed adultery, Christ commands us to stop. To put it another way, we must not be like the woman in the church at Thyatira of whom Jesus said: “I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality” (c.f. Revelation 2:21) – which means she eventually came face to face with God’s judgment (c.f. Romans 2:5-6).

(c) Third, there’s the matter of forgiveness and cleansing, which are truly gifts of God’s grace. As I said moments ago, adultery is a very serious sin – but it can also be forgiven. When David confessed his sin of adultery, Nathan the prophet said: “The Lord … has taken away your sin; you shall not die” (c.f. II Samuel 12:13b). That’s why later David was able to write: “How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity … When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’; and You forgave the guilt of my sin” (c.f. Psalm 32:1-5).

Elsewhere, Scripture comforts Christians who have committed any sin (including adultery) with these words: “if we confess our sins, (Jesus) is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (c.f. I John 1:9) – and again: “He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion” (c.f. Proverbs 28:13) – and then there’s this promise: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (c.f. Psalm 103:12).

The bottom line is this – forgiveness and cleansing are available for those who have committed adultery. What’s more, when God forgives our sins they’re gone – never to be used against us at some later date! Hence, God says: “I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more” (c.f. Jeremiah 31:34c)!

(4) Finally (and quickly), what help does Christ give non-Christians who have committed adultery?

(a) First and foremost of all, He offers to forgive their sins (including, but not limited to, adultery) and be their Savior. This is where every non-Christian must start. It does no real good to tell someone who’s not a Christian to stop committing adultery, lest (by God’s common grace) they do, and then think that has made them a Christian. Obviously, Christians should not be adulterers – but not committing adultery isn’t what makes us Christians. As we’ve pointed out on other occasions, a person becomes a Christian by repenting of their sins (of which adultery is just one), and professing faith in Jesus Christ as the only God-given Savior of sinners (c.f. Mark 1:15; John 20:31).

(b) Once that happens, all the other gifts of God’s grace we’ve talked about this morning become theirs – not that common grace we mentioned earlier – but that enabling grace by which Christ helps His redeemed people resist and/or overcome temptation, including the temptation to commit adultery.

God’s commands take on new importance – as do the warnings He gives throughout Scripture. The promises made to Christians to help them in their hour of need are now theirs (c.f. Hebrews 4:16) – as is the armor of God (c.f. Ephesians 6:10-18) – along with the enabling ability to resist temptation (c.f. I Corinthians 10:13). And if/when they slip, Christ is there graciously helping them to confess their sin and repent. The promise to forgive and cleanse them from sin is now theirs as well (c.f. I John 1:9).

(c) But it all starts by becoming a Christian first – after which, the sin of adultery can be dealt with! Hence, a passage of Scripture I read earlier goes on to say: “… Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed … you were sanctified … you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God” (c.f. I Corinthians 6:9-11).

(5) The seventh of God’s Ten Commandments says His redeemed people “(should) not commit adultery” (c.f. Exodus 20:14) – but sometimes we do, to our shame. Fortunately, we have a Savior who has promised to forgive us. He’s also promised to help us resist this sin in the first place, if we will trust in the grace He offers us in our time of need!

10:13; p. 1811.