(“… Not Pre-Occupied With Self”)

I Corinthians 13:1-8a

(I Corinthians 13:5b)

(A) IS IT NEW OR NOT?

(1) On the eve of His crucifixion (c.f. John 13:1), after Judas had left to carry out the final phase of his betrayal (c.f. John 13:21-30), Jesus told His disciples: 34“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you … 35By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (c.f. John 13:34-35).

(2) Although Jesus called it a “NEW commandment” (c.f. John 13:34), there’s a sense in which it wasn’t entirely “new”. By that I mean this wasn’t the first time God had ever given His people a command to love others.¹ As a matter of fact, the Law of Moses said: “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself …” (c.f. Leviticus 19:18).

Furthermore, Jesus said in another place that this command from the Book of Leviticus was the “second” most important one of all – right after, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” (c.f. Matthew 22:36-39) – thereby acknowledging that the “NEW commandment” (c.f. John 13:34) He spoke of in John chapter thirteen wasn’t “new” in the sense of being completely original.

(3) So what IS “new” about the command Jesus gave His disciples in John’s Gospel (c.f. John 13:34)?

(a) If we compare that command to the one found in Leviticus chapter nineteen, we see Jesus made at least two changes¹ (c.f. Leviticus 19:18; John 13:34). Note these “changes” are really more like “clarifications” – similar to what Jesus did in the Sermon on the Mount when He prefaced certain portions of His teaching by saying: “You have heard that it was said … but I say to you …” (c.f. Matthew 5:27-28, 38-39, 43-44) – only in that instance, He was actually “correcting” some of the erroneous teachings of the Pharisees.

(b) First of all, then, Jesus changed the word “neighbor” to “one another”, thereby making even clearer what was already implied in Leviticus – namely, that the kind of love He had in mind starts with our brothers and sisters in Christ – in part, because if we don’t love those inside the family of faith, we won’t love those outside the family (c.f. Luke 6:32-36). Nor, as Scripture says in another place, is our profession of love for God valid if we don’t love those who are His redeemed children (c.f. I John 4:20-21).

(c) Second, Jesus changed the words “as yourself” to “as I have loved you” – which indicates our Savior’s self-sacrificing love for us is the model we are to follow, rather than the self-centered kind of love we often display in our relationships with other people.¹ Hence, Scripture tells us to – 1“be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma” (note all the sacrificial references in this passage!) (c.f. Ephesians 5:1-2) – and again: 9“By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God … sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins (again, note the sacrificial nature of the Father’s love for us, as well as that of the Son!). (So, based on this sacrificial love, John draws the following conclusion) ¹¹Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (c.f. I John 4:9-11).

(4) If there is anything truly “new” about Jesus’ command in John chapter thirteen, it’s that “lov(ing) one another” is to be the characteristic (above all others) that shows the world we are His disciples (c.f. John 13:34-35).

(a) As we said earlier in this series of messages, there are many things that ought to characterize the lives of those who call themselves Christians – including being present for worship on the Lord’s Day unless providentially (not superficially) hindered (c.f. Hebrews 10:25) – studying the Scriptures both corporately and privately, while also striving to put what we’ve learned into practice (c.f. Ezra 7:10) – praying in Jesus’ name (c.f. John 14:13-14) – being generous with our money, and eager to do good works (c.f. I Corinthians 16:2; Titus 2:14) – to mention only a few. And if we inquire as to how we know these things are important, the answer is, because Scripture tells us they are.

(b) However, Jesus said one characteristic more than any other will set us apart as His disciples – namely, our “love for one another” (c.f. John 13:35). Nor are we talking about just any kind of love – certainly NOT the anemic, erotic, self-centered kind of love often glorified in the movies and music of our secular culture. Rather, we’re talking about the kind of love best defined by the Greek word “agape” – the kind of love exemplified by Jesus when He told us to “love one another, even as I have loved you” (c.f. John 13:34-35) – the kind of love Paul describes in this morning’s Scripture lesson (c.f. I Corinthians 13:4-8a).

(5) Up to this point we’ve seen that the love that sets us apart as Christ’s disciples (which, by the way, is not a love you and I can come up with on our own – rather it must be a gift of His grace) – (up to now we’ve seen) that this kind of love is “patient (and) kind” – that it is “not jealous … does not brag and is not arrogant” – and that it “does not act unbecomingly” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:4-5a).

This morning we’re going to focus in on the fact that agape-love “does not seek its own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) – or, as the subtitle of today’s messages indicates, that Christ-like love is “not preoccupied with self.”

(B) AGAPE-LOVE DOES NOT FOCUS ON SELF

(1) Some of you will remember the commercial for heartburn from a number of years ago, whose catchphrase said, “Relief is spelled, R-O-L-A-I-D-S.” I think an alternative spelling for sin is S-E-L-F.

(2) Every biblical indication we have is that some form of “self” (be it pride, arrogance, conceit, or some other display of self-importance whereby a person thinks more highly of themselves than they ought – c.f. Romans 12:3b) (that some form of “self”) lies at the root of every sin that’s ever been committed.

(a) For example, if Satan is partially in view in Ezekiel chapter twenty-eight, then “self” in the form of pride and arrogance were at the heart of his fall from grace² – for the passage says (in part): 13“You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering … 14you were the anointed cherub … you were on the holy mountain of God … 15you were blameless in your ways from the day you were created until unrighteousness was found in you … 17 (for) your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; (and) you corrupted your wisdom (on account) of your splendor” (c.f. Ezekiel 28:13-17).

Mankind’s first sin certainly qualifies – for the Bible says Eve’s selfish desire to “be like God” (although incited by Satan) became the catalyst for humanity’s Fall from innocence (c.f. Genesis 3:4-6).

Later, we read about a man named Lamech, who told his wives: 23“I have killed a man for wounding me; and a boy for striking me; 24if Cain is avenged sevenfold, then Lamech (should be avenged) seventy-sevenfold” (c.f. Genesis 4:23b-24). You can hear the arrogance and conceit oozing from his words, can you not?!

King Saul’s futile attempts to have David killed were motivated by jealousy (which is another form of “self”), because Scripture says he was angered by the fact that the people were singing: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (c.f. I Samuel 18:5-9).

And as for David, his adulterous murderous behavior was also motivated by “self” – in this regard, that he committed adultery because of a selfish desire to satisfy the lust of his heart after seeing Bathsheba bathing – and that he committed murder (i.e. had her husband killed during battle) because he arrogantly assumed that since he was king he could cover-up what he had done (c.f. II Samuel 11:1-25).

Even Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, which we mentioned earlier, was motivated by greed (c.f. Matthew 26:14-16; John 12:4-6) – which is simply another form of selfishness, because it involves the sinful supposition we deserve more than God has sovereignly chosen to give us.

(b) Ever since the Fall people from every tribe, nation and tongue have been “seeking their own” at the expense of others (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) – ever since Adam and Eve committed that first sin, their descendants (including you and me!) have been following in their footsteps, pursuing our own self-interests with little or no regard for how our unloving behavior is impacting those around us.

We see it every day – from the little child who won’t let anyone play with his toys, even though he isn’t playing with them – to adults who park in spots reserved for the handicapped and elderly without regard for the hardship they may be causing others. We see it in our governing authorities, who make decisions based more on political expediency than the welfare of the nation, state, or city and its citizens. We see it in husbands who find ways of putting off helping their wives, until the wife finally gives up in exasperation and does it herself.³

(c) John MacArthur says this morning’s text – i.e. that love, “does not seek its own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) – is probably the key to everything, in part because the root evil of fallen human nature is in wanting to have its own way.⁴ “Cure selfishness,” he says, “and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.”⁵

(3) The Greek word (“zeteo”) in our text translated “does not seek” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5a) means “to demand, to require, or to strive after – hence, the word refers to pursuing something with great effort.”⁶

(a) Obviously, then, this kind of “seeking” is not a casual pursuit – it’s not something a person is willing to take or leave (as it were). On the contrary, the thing being “sought” is something a person wants very badly – something they will move heaven and earth (as we sometimes say), to try and get – and if they have to do or say some unloving things to get it, they will.

(b) An UNLOVING person, then, “seek(s) (his or her) own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) – the question is, their “own” what? The answer (broadly speaking) is, their own self interests – their own self importance (c.f. Philippians 2:3-4) – their own advantage⁷ – their own comfort – their own reputation – their own way⁴ – their own rights⁸ – their own welfare⁹ – their own whatever!

(c) For the person who’s “seek(ing) (their) own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b), it’s all about self – all about me – all about the big “I”. It’s all about “pleasing ourselves” rather than pleasing a brother or sister in Christ (c.f. Romans 15:1-2) – all about looking out for our own interests, rather than the interests of others (c.f. Philippians 2:4) – all about “passing by on the other side” (as it were), instead of getting dirty or being inconvenienced by the needs of someone else, be they a Christian or not (c.f. Luke 10:30-34) – all about giving preference to ourselves, instead of giving preference to others (c.f. Romans 12:10) – all about selfish pride, instead of humility – all about others serving us, instead of our serving them (c.f. Mark 10:45) – all about other people washing our feet (as it were), instead of us washing theirs (c.f. John 13:14-15). In short, although we would NEVER put it this way, it’s all about being selfish instead of selfless – all about being unloving, instead of loving – all about following the prideful example of the Lucifer, instead of the meek example of Christ.

(d) John Calvin said the notion that agape-love “does NOT seek its own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) shows us just how “far we are from having (this kind of) love implanted in us (naturally) – for we are naturally prone to … love and care for ourselves, and aim at our own advantage. Nay, to speak more correctly, we rush headlong into it.”⁷ He then added that “to ‘seek one’s own’ (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) is to be (totally) devoted to self, and to be wholly taken up with concern for one’s OWN advantage.”⁷

(4) But surely (someone may be saying) (surely) we’re talking about NON-believers, right? Surely we’re not talking about Christians. Surely Christ’s disciples could never be as unloving as this. Would that it was true – but it isn’t. Our justification may be complete – but the work of sanctification is not – which means there’s a great deal of the old self yet to put off, and more of the new self still to put on (c.f. Ephesians 4:22-24). Or, to put it into the context of this morning’s message, there are a lot unloving ways to treat people that need to be replaced by the ways of agape-love.

(a) We’ve noted before in this series that the church in first-century Corinth was a true church, despite all its problems – which means many of the people in that church were true Christians, in spite of their selfish behavior. Indeed, this is partly why Paul wrote First Corinthians chapter thirteen – i.e. to show the CHRISTIANS in that church how unloving they really were, in part, by describing what real love looks like – including the fact that it “does not seek its own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b).

(b) One reason Paul mentioned this aspect of agape-love is because many of the believers in the Corinthian church were selfishly “seeking their own advantage” in both civil and spiritual matters.

For example, when it came to settling disputes the Corinthian Christians were filing “lawsuits” against each i.e. they were taking each other to court, instead of settling their differences privately in a loving, selfless manner (c.f. I Corinthians 6:1-8).

Another example involved Christians who believed some behaviors (like eating meat that had been sacrificed to an idol) were wrong (translate, having a glass of wine with a meal – eating supper at a casino – buying a lottery ticket – or going to see certain movies). Other believers understood there was nothing innately sinful about eating this kind of meat, and so they did. The problem was, they did it in an open and unloving way – i.e. they flaunted their freedom in Christ, as it were, right in front of their weaker brothers and sisters – thereby, prompting Paul to write that they were “sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience” (c.f. I Corinthians 8:1-13). Paul said that instead of “seeking their own freedom” (as it were) in this area (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) – instead of insisting on their “own” rights – the loving thing to do would to either be more discreet, or stop eating meat sacrificed to idols altogether. In other words, the loving thing to do would be to sacrifice one’s freedom in this matter, rather than run the risk of “ruining a brother for whom Christ died”, and “sin(ning) against Christ” in the process (c.f. I Corinthians 8:11-12).

Yet another example involved the use of spiritual gifts (which is the larger context in which First Corinthians chapter thirteen was written). Paul clearly states in chapter twelve that “each (person) is given (a) manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (c.f. I Corinthians 12:7). In chapter fourteen he repeatedly says gifts of the Spirit have been given to “edify” the church (c.f. I Corinthians 14:3-5, 12, 26) – i.e. whatever gift a person has is to be used to build up their brothers and sisters in Christ, and/or help them grow in the faith (i.e. the gifts of the Spirit are to be used for other-centered, rather than self-centered, reasons).

But, as we’ve seen in other messages, that’s NOT what most of the people were doing. As John MacArthur says: “they wanted what they thought were the best gifts (like tongues) for themselves. And instead of using these gifts for the benefit of others, they tried to use them to their own advantage.”¹¹ In other words, they were using their gifts to promote themselves – they were using their gifts to draw attention to themselves (which is what the first three verses of this morning’s Scripture lesson are all about – c.f. I Corinthians 13:1-3).

So the point is, it was the CHRISTIANS in Corinth who were “seeking their own” in a variety of ways – it was BELIEVERS in the Corinthian church who were behaving in some very unloving, and therefore unChrist-like ways – and that, toward each other!

(c) Like it or not, all of us are selfish.³ As fallen human beings we all naturally gravitate towards self. Even after we’ve been saved by grace through the gift of faith in Christ Jesus (c.f. Ephesians 2:8-9), we continue to struggle against the inherent desire to “seek (our) own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) – i.e. to put ourselves first, and others (including our spouse, our children, our friends, our co-workers, and our fellow believers) last. As one writer said: “It’s a quality that saturates the human soul. Yet this simple sentence from First Corinthians – that love does not seek its own – barely elicits more than a sanctimonious nod of agreement from most of us. ‘Of course love isn’t selfish,’ we think to ourselves, ‘and all those selfish people out there need to understand this’.”¹⁰

(d) What we really need to understand, of course, is that we are one of those “selfish people” – that we are people who, apart from Christ’s enabling grace, will inevitably “seek our own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) before anyone else’s – that left to ourselves our love will be self-centered rather than other-centered.

(e) If agape-love (which Jesus modeled for us, by the way, during His time on earth) (if agape-love) “does NOT seek its own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b), then it must be “seek(ing)” the “own” of others – i.e. put positively, agape-love “seek(s)” the welfare, the advantage, and/or the interests of others. Hence, the Scripture says elsewhere: 3“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus …” (c.f. Philippians 2:3-5a).

Among other things, that passage from the Book of Philippians tells us it’s NOT unlawful for Christians to be concerned about their own affairs – rather, the problem comes from what John Calvin called, “the excess of it, which proceeds from an immoderate and blind attachment to ourselves.”¹² He then adds that: “the excess lies in this – if we think of ourselves so as to neglect others, or if the desire of our own advantage calls us off from that concern, which God commands us to have (for) our neighbors.”¹²

(f) May Christ our Savior enable us to love each other with a love that “does not seek its own” (c.f. I Corinthians 13:5b) – with a love that regards others as more important than ourselves (c.f. Philippians 2:3) – with a love that gives preference to others – with a love that enables us to be more concerned about pleasing our neighbor for his good, than simply pleasing ourselves (c.f. Romans 15:1b-2).

1The New Geneva Study Bible: Footnote on John 13:34;

p. 1690.

2IBID: Footnote on Ezekiel 28:12; p. 1296.

3Parrott: Love Is …; p. 49.

4MacArthur: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary;

I Corinthians; p.344.

5IBID; p. 345.

6The Bible Companion Series: Strong’s Concordance;

Word #2212.

7Calvin’s Commentaries: Vol. XX; I Corinthians; p. 423.

8Barclay: The Letters to the Corinthians; p. 135.

9Kistemaker: New Testament Commentary – I Corinthians;

p. 460.

10Parrott: Ibid; pgs. 49-50.

11MacArthur: Ibid; p. 345.

12Calvin’s Commentaries: Ibid; p. 424.