(“A Time to Weep”)¹

Genesis 49:33; 50:1-14 (NKJV)

(Genesis 50:1)

(A) THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERYTHING, INCLUDING A TIME TO GRIEVE

(1) One of the more familiar passages in the Book of Ecclesiastes says (in part): “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die … a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (c.f. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a, 4).

As the Book of Genesis draws to a close, we find the “time” has come for Jacob “to die” … we also saw last time that he died well. However, his death means that for Joseph and his brothers the “time” has come “to weep and mourn”. Hence, after Jacob took his last breath, tonight’s text says “Joseph fell on his father’s face and wept over him” (c.f. Genesis 50:1) … and, even though our Scripture lesson doesn’t say how his brothers responded, I believe they probably wept over their father as well.

(2) In the fourth chapter of First Thessalonians we’re told “not (to) grieve (like those) who have no hope” (c.f. I Thessalonians 4:13). Some mistakenly think this means that when people die, we Christians shouldn’t show any signs of grief … but that’s not what Paul meant. He meant we shouldn’t grieve like those who don’t know Christ – like those who don’t have any reasonable hope of the resurrection. Its not that we shouldn’t shed any tears when people we love die – its that the sting of death has been softened³ by the hope we have in Jesus Christ and His resurrection – i.e. a hope that says, because He lives, we shall live, too (c.f. John 14:19) – and so will all those who have died before us, believing in Him.

Joseph’s reaction to his father’s death, and/or the time spent mourning, may seem excessive to us – i.e. seventy days in Egypt, followed by seven more days in the land of Canaan (c.f. Genesis 50:3, 10). After all, people in America often prefer to get these things over with as soon as possible. But I would suggest Joseph’s behavior is more reflective of the culture in which he lived, than the spiritual condition of his heart. In any event, since Scripture never criticizes him for how he mourned, we won’t either.

(3) The twelfth chapter of the Book of Romans exhorts us to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (c.f. Romans 12:15). In other words, we are to empathize with our brothers and sisters in Christ.² When they are happy, we’re to be happy with them – when they are sad, we’re to share their sadness – when they feel like laughing, we’re to laugh with them – and when they feel like crying, we’re to cry with them – likewise, when their children are born, we’re to “rejoice” with them – and when they bury their parents, we’re to “weep” with them.

Interestingly, it’s the Egyptians in tonight’s Scripture lesson (many of whom were undoubtedly still pagans) who empathized with Joseph and his brothers – first, by mourning for Jacob seventy days (c.f. Genesis 50:3), which several writers point out was two days short of the normal time they would have mourned for a Pharaoh³ – and then, by accompanying Joseph and his brothers to the land of Canaan, where they went to bury their father per his final request (c.f. Genesis 50:7, 11).

(B) THREE ATTITUDES TOWARD DEATH

(1) Drawing on material from another writer, James Boice suggests most people adopt one of three basic attitudes toward death, which I will attempt to summarize. The first is a death-denying attitude,⁴ which is typical of our present western culture. Nor do we have to go very far to find examples.

(a) One of the best representatives of this view is Mary Baker Eddy and the religious cult she helped establish known as Christian Science (a misnomer if there ever was one, since this group is neither “Christian” nor “scientific”). Be that as it may, according to Mrs. Eddy, death is an illusion⁵ – an error of the mind – it is not real – it does not exist. This belief (so I’m told) is reflected in the editorial pages of the Christian Science Monitor, a relatively well-known and respected newspaper, where the word “death” is apparently never printed.⁶

(b) But this death-denying attitude is not confined to a few Christian Scientists. Our entire culture, led in part by the funeral and life insurance industries (life insurance being another misnomer), (our culture) has created a whole “new image” for death. This “new image” is reflected in words and phrases we’ve all heard, and even used! For example, people no longer die, they “expire” or “pass away” – once a person is dead they become the “deceased” or the “loved one” –the body becomes “the remains” – and cemeteries have become known as “memorial gardens”.⁶

(c) Even Christians are often reluctant to use words like “death” and “died”, lest they be considered indiscreet and/or tactless. Instead, we try and soften the harsh reality of death by saying the person has “gone home to be with the Lord” – which is certainly true for believers, but they had to go through the valley of the shadow of “death” to get there! Or, we may say the person has “gone on to their eternal reward” – which, again, is true for believers, but they had to “die” to get it. Or, maybe we say the person who died is “now at rest”, or “at peace”, or “no longer in pain” – all of which is true for believers, but to get there they had “die”!

(d) This change in language reflects an attempt “play down” the harsh realities of death, and/or artificially soften the impact. There are some meaningful ways to honestly deal with death – but denying its existence isn’t one of them. As one writer said, “in the end, the reality of death cannot be avoided. Sooner or later it steps across the threshold of our home, or into that of a neighbor, and we are left to grieve over our loss and/or tremble at the reminder of our own mortality.”⁷

(e) The fact Joseph “fell on his father’s face and wept over him, and kissed him” (c.f. Genesis 50:1) after he died, indicates he did not have a death-denying attitude. Indeed, the extent of his grief shows he felt the full weight of death’s harsh reality.

(2) A second basic attitude toward death is known as a death-accepting attitude.⁷ This was the mind-set of the ancient Greeks, and is illustrated by one of the best-known deaths of all time, that of a philosopher you may have heard of named Socrates.

(a) Socrates had been sentenced to die by the rulers of Athens for supposedly corrupting the city’s youth with his “atheism”, which consisted of denying the literal reality of the Greek gods. As the moment neared for him to drink the fatal poison, his friends were gathered about him, some of them openly weeping. But not Socrates! He used those final minutes to reason with his grieving friends about the significance of death, why he did not shrink from it, and why they should not shrink from it either – after which, history tells us, he readily and happily drank the hemlock and died.⁷

(b) So what gave Socrates the courage to die like this? Apparently it had something to do with his commitment to reason. He reasoned, for example, that he was seventy years old, and that a man of his age ought not shun death.⁷ He also reasoned the only way his soul could be set free from the physical world (which the Greeks believed to be evil), was through death. In his view, then, death was actually the soul’s friend. Death freed the soul from a body that kept it from functioning at its highest possible level.⁸

This all sounds very strange to us. But remember, Socrates and the ancient Greeks were literally betting their eternal souls that they had been able to reason out the truth about death.

(c) One obvious problem is that when the moment of truth comes, most people find it extremely difficult (if not actually impossible) to die serenely on the basis of some philosophical hope, no matter how well reasoned out it may be. And, even if they could, death is still a severe shock to those who survive. Hence, Plato, who was Socrates’ star pupil, later confessed that when his mentor died he burst into tears over the magnitude of his loss.⁸

(d) Apparently Plato had more in common with Joseph than Socrates. When Jacob died, tonight’s text says Joseph “fell on his father's face, and wept over him, and kissed him” (c.f. Genesis 50:1) – which clearly indicates he was not philosophical or stoic about his father’s death.

(3) There is a third attitude, based upon the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments, that’s called a death-defying attitude.⁸

(a) This view is epitomized by the Apostle Paul,⁸ who once exclaimed: “O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory? The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (c.f. I Corinthians 15:55-57). Paul is also the one (as we’ve already noted) who doesn’t tell us not to grieve, but “not to grieve as those who are have no hope” (c.f. I Thessalonians 4:13) because they are separated from Christ by unbelief.

(b) Some may not think the phrase “death-defying” is the best way to try and summarize the biblical perspective – however, it does have the advantage of encompassing two important truths. First, it acknowledges the reality and horror of death ... and second, it recognizes that there is life after death, and/or that we will ultimately triumph over death through the Person and Work of Jesus Christ.⁸

(c) This attitude is reflected in the way Joseph responded to Jacob’s death. For one thing, we see him acknowledging the harsh reality of death by grieving over his father … but then, as James Boice says, “we also see a death-transcending hope that culminates eventually in the resurrection faith of a mature Christian.”⁸

(C) JACOB’S ATTITUDE TOWARD DEATH

(1) One of the most striking things about the way Joseph responded to his father’s death is how open he was with his grief.

(a) What do you think about the way Joseph grieved? As you read tonight’s text, and picture the scene in your mind, do you find yourself feeling embarrassed for Joseph? Does the way he expressed his grief make you just a little uneasy? Did the thought flit through your mind that he almost seems to be behaving more like non-Christian than a Christian?

(b) In a culture like the one we live in, where death is often denied and/or its harsh realities artificially softened, many consider it improper to grieve as openly, and visibly, and/or as long as Joseph did. Undertakers report the trend in funeral arrangements is to “get it over with” as soon as possible – and that more and more families are actually opting to have an impersonal third party take care of the details for them.⁸

(c) That isn’t how Joseph responded. Tonight’s text tells us he “fell on his father's face, and wept over him, and kissed him” (c.f. Genesis 50:1). Afterwards, he gave orders to have his father’s body embalmed, and then entered into a formal period of mourning that lasted seventy days (c.f. Genesis 50:3). Next, there is an unspecified period of time during which the funeral procession traveled from Egypt to Canaan (c.f. Genesis 50:7-9), whereupon Joseph and his brothers observed seven more days of mourning at the threshing floor of Atad (c.f. Genesis 50:10). Finally, there’s the time involved to travel to the cave of Machpelah and actually bury Jacob’s body (c.f. Genesis 50:12-13).⁹

Can you imagine what people would think if someone did that today? The closest thing I can compare it to is the recent funeral of President Reagan – which certainly lasted longer than most, but not nearly as long as Jacob’s. If an ordinary family drew out the grieving process today, we would probably think something was wrong with them – that they were behaving irrationally, and/or morbidly. We might even think their behavior was “subchristian”.⁹

(d) Obviously some of what went on in tonight’s Scripture lesson was cultural (like the seventy days of mourning in Egypt), and therefore not something Christians should feel required to imitate.¹⁰ Furthermore, the forty days required to embalm Jacob’s body were necessary in order for Joseph and his brothers to fulfill their father’s last request to bury his body in Canaan.

But these things aside, do we really think we are wiser than Joseph? – especially when we stifle our grief and/or deny the harsh realities of death? The fact is, after the funeral is over most people immediately resume their lives. But those directly affected often grieve over the death of the one they loved for months, or even years, before they get to the place where they feel like they’re ready to “get on with life” (as we sometimes say).⁹

Joseph grieved openly – he probably grieved loudly – and he certainly grieved for long period of time. But that wasn’t all bad – nor was it, in and of itself, an indication of a lack of faith!

(2) The second thing we notice about Joseph’s response to Jacob’s death is that he honored his father’s memory by the way he took care of his body.⁹

(a) The Egyptian practice of embalming was really an attempt to cheat death. It was also consistent with their belief in the continuation of the body’s functions and pleasures in the next life. Students of ancient Egypt have actually labeled it “a culture of the dead”⁹ – what with all the energy they spent mummifying their leaders, and build-ing great pyramids, which are really nothing more than elaborate tombs.

(b) We should not think (as John Calvin apparently did)¹¹ that the care Joseph showed his father’s body was somehow motivated by the false religious beliefs of the Egyptians. He did not think, for example, that preserving his father’s body would somehow preserve him for the land of the shadows⁹ – or even for heaven. As we’ve already noted, there was a very practical reason for embalming of his father’s body – that being to preserve it until he and his brothers could take it to Canaan and bury it the cave of Machpelah. At the same time, however, we should not overlook the fact that he did not forego what James Boice called, “the normal decent preparation and honoring of the body that was customary in that culture.”⁹ In other words, he didn’t treat his father’s body like we might treat the dead carcass of an animal.

(c) In the same way, it’s not wrong – indeed, it’s actually beneficial – for us to have funerals and graveside services in which we honor the memory of the person who has died, in part, by treating their body with some measure of dignity and/or respect. These ceremonies fulfill an important function, not the least of which is helping us work through (what we call today) “the grieving process”,⁹ in part, by performing a final act of service on behalf of the one who has died – much like Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus did for Jesus, following His death on the cross (c.f. John 19:38-42).

(d) I suppose I should say a word about cremation, since I imagine questions about it are going through some of your minds. I will be very brief, however, and simply say, that aside from assuring you the notion cremation somehow affects God’s ability to resurrect that body is an unbiblical myth, I see no reason why it cannot fit within the framework of what we’ve been talking about – i.e. I see no reason why it can’t be done in a way that honors the memory of the person who died, and/or becomes a final act of service on their behalf. That doesn’t mean some people may not have sinful selfish motives for choosing to cremate a body – but it is to say that I don’t see anything inherently wrong with the practice per se.

(3) The final thing to note about the way Joseph responded to Jacob’s death is that he honored the promise he made to his father while Jacob was still alive.⁹

(a) As you recall, Jacob was adamant about the fact he did not want his body buried in Egypt – so much so, he made Joseph swear a formal oath that, he would take his father’s body to Canaan and bury it the cave where his ancestors were buried (c.f. Genesis 48:29-31).⁹ He also repeated this request in the presence of all twelve of his sons right before he died – charging them to make sure they buried his body in the cave that was in the field of Machpelah which is before Mamre in the land of Canaan – indeed, as far as Scripture is concerned, these were the last words he spoke before taking his final breath (c.f. Genesis 49:29-33).

(b) We noted on several previous occasions that this request was a testimony to Jacob’s faith in God and His covenant promises. Nor was Joseph about to disregard this final declaration of his father’s faith, in part, because he shared that faith. In fact, if you look at the next-to-the-last verse in Genesis chapter fifty you will see that before he died Joseph made his family swear to bury his body in the land of Canaan (c.f. Genesis 50:25)⁹ – a promise that was eventually kept four hundred years later by Moses and the people of his generation (c.f. Exodus 13:19).

(c) James Boice speculates about the impact all this may have had on the Egyptians who knew Joseph. He writes: “if Joseph had NOT expressed grief over the death of his father, the Egyptians would have concluded that he didn’t really love him, that perhaps he was even glad to have the old man out of the way. If he had expressed nothing BUT grief, the Egyptians might have decided the hope of eternal life he and his brothers professed was no better than their own dark hopes, and/or maybe not even as good.”¹²

(d) “And what about this trip back to Canaan? What about this burial in the ancestral tomb of Abraham and Isaac? Are we to suppose Joseph remained silent during the months following his father’s death? – silent about the nature of the God he served? – silent about the hope within him? (c.f. I Peter 3:15) – silent about the promises God made to His people? – silent about why it was so important to bury his father in Canaan?”¹² Boice says, “I think Joseph took charge of these rites of mourning, just like he took charge of almost everything else – and that he used them to testify to God’s promises of salvation.”¹²

(e) The point we’ve been addressing tonight is that the death of a believer is a time to weep. After all, when we strip away the pathetic veneer our culture has tried to put on it, we begin to realize just what a harsh reality death actually is.

There is no shame in grieving over the death of people we love … death is our enemy (c.f. I Corinthians 15:26) … death is the bitter fruit of Adam’s sin, as well as our own (c.f. Romans 5:12) … death is a thief that steals and steals, without ever returning what it’s taken from us (c.f. II Samuel 12:23) … even Jesus wept outside the tomb of Lazarus (c.f. John 11:35).

(f) So there is nothing wrong with expressing our grief when someone we love dies – so long as we don’t grieve like those who have no hope (c.f. I Thessalonians 4:13). We have hope … His name is Jesus … He died and rose again, so that those who die believing in Him may also live again (c.f. John 11:25-26). Therefore, in the midst of our grief, even while we are weeping, the Scripture says we should “comfort one another with these words” (c.f. I Thessalonians 4:18).¹²

¹Boice: Genesis; Vol. 3; p. 1236.

²The New Geneva Study Bible: Footnote on Romans

12:15; p. 1789

³IBID; Footnote on I Thessalonians 4:13; p. 1898.

⁴Boice: Ibid; p. 1237.

⁵Phamplet: The Spirit of Truth and the Spirit of Error.

⁶Boice: Ibid; p. 1238.

⁷IBID; p. 1239.

⁸IBID; p. 1240.

⁹IBID; p. 1241.